Monday, April 27, 2009

A lighter heart

I did something today that makes me feel better than I have in a long time.

A little background story -- my husband has 2 sisters, living in the same area. While the one sister has always been somewhat reasonable, the oldest one has always had a chip on her shoulder, always needed everything her way and made sure we all knew what we did wrong in her eyes. You all probably have similar people in your family. All these years, we have tiptoed around her and kept quiet so as not to upset her. A couple of years ago, there were several incidents with both sisters that finally made us realize that we would be better off not spending any more time with them so all family holiday celebrations since have been spent separately. Honestly, what a relief! But, I have always felt bad for my husband's parents, and my children (even though they were never close to these aunts, uncles or cousins) and now, my grandson, who will never get to play with his second cousins. After all the birthday parties, graduation parties, wedding showers, baby showers, etc. that I assisted with for their families, my family has been totally shunned with our milestone events. How sad for us all. Anyway, back to what I did today. I decided that I can no longer hold these hurts in my heart. I can no longer sit in a church pew each week and listen about forgiveness when I still hold these grievences in my heart. So -- I wrote each sister a letter asking for their forgiveness and letting them know that I forgive each of them. I didn't go into detail - those offences are in the past. I just want forgiveness for any part I played in their obvious unhappiness. I don't expect to hear anything from them. I don't expect that our relationships will change. I don't expect to spend holidays with them. But I expect my heart to be lighter and that I can go about my days without the heaviness of hatred bogging me down. "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well". As I always have, I wish both of them and their families nothing but good things!

Ciao bellas!


Sherrie said...

What a tough situation. Have you heard anything back yet?

On the post you did a while back, have you figured out how to move your pictures around once you add them to your post? If not email me and I will help you out. I hate the text formatting as well. I am going to do some experimenting today with this "no text edit thing". There has to be an easier way :0)

Charlene said...

Families........ Blessings or Curse? I think you did a very sweet thing. let it go off your heart. To drag bitterness around will hurt them. At least you are now free. Remember, we choose our friends & deal with the family we are dealt. Some are dealt better cards than others. TRUST ME... I KNOW!

Thank you for stopping by to enter my Give Away. Hope you win. Be Happy

SweetAnnee said...

I have a similar sister in law..She has a special way of letting you know she's richer, smarter and better than you.

I forgive her..over and over.. but she doesn't get that she's part
of the problem.

She does this to entire family..

you can pick your friends..but we can't pick our families.

smiles., Deena

Linda K said...

Perfect attitude to have! Making things right and asking forgiveness and NOT EXPECTING anything back. Just knowing you are doing the right thing is so healing!! Way to go.
Linda K, your newest follower.......... :)